So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize