its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
