Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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