It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
