real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
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That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
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