Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
