see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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