I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
