Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
