Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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