i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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