Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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