Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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