i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Dignity is for republicans.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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