officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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