i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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