i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
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