She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
