Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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