one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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