i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
