I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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