i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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