I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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