WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
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Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I did not marry a roomba.
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