And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
