i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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