are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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