there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
