How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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