One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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