i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
