We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
