What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize