This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I think I died a long time ago.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Randomize
