Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
