my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
