her vagine was all disorganized.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
