Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She needs sedatives and a leash
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
