she looked like the before picture.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
