the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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