I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
