I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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