May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
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My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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