is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize