It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
