i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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