all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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