remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
