maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
