lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize