it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
