he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
