I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Girls should come with a carfax report
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
