So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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