he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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