Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
