i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The Olympian is in my bed
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