I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
