u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
