absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
