Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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